She placed her hands upon my shoulders, looked into my eyes, and pushed me into the river. I saw it from all angles – my large figure falling backwards off the dock, the smack, water droplets flying before enclosing my form within itself. The smile on her face.
I did not drown, but fell. Deeper and deeper into the blackness of it all before arriving at my destination, at her feet.
In my quest over the last year or so to become more in tune with the Goddess, with the feminine divine which has been quite an alien mentality for me in the Pagan sense of things, I have worked with many Deities. It’s always been a short visit, a small lesson to learn before they dismiss me and I don’t feel the need or can’t get their attention again.
And then She came along, with her very distinct accent and fiery red hair. The “claiming” was different to how Herne and I came together – he laid the breadcrumbs and watched as I went in circles for years trying to find where they lead, and when I came to the conclusion it was a heartly slap on the back and “about bloody time!”.
With Her it was, “Wake up!” Like, bam! Straight into it! It was absolutely terrifying! She is someone who I have wanted to work with for years, but I have been too scared to say hello or introduce myself. When I first thought I was seeing signs, I asked a Dedicant of Hers and he said, “introduce yourself this full moon.” I didn’t, as that was Herne and I’s anniversary. A few days later the wake up! call came.
The last few months I’ve felt the need less and less to publicly write. Partly because my computer at home is stuffed, partly because work is nuts, mostly because I’ve begun to really enjoy journaling. This journey, in particular, is not one for this blog. And while my new journey is taking my attention, I don’t know what to write about here.
In a lot of aspects I feel like a baby learning to walk.
But I didn’t go to Her on bended knee. When the last physical element came into play, I let my tongue fly. I took a friend’s advice and wisdom regarding Her, and at the end of it I knew that this relationship will be vastly different to the one I have with Herne.
The Morrigan has helped me achieve things in my life I couldn’t do on my own. I love how this is happening coming into summer: the brighter the light, the darker is the shadow.