We’ve been in my home town for nearly a week now, arriving last Sunday. An eleven-and-a-bit hour drive coupled with a “Captain’s Log” on facebook, and we arrived at my mothers in one piece, and only forgetting the ibuprofen.
It’s been a chock-a-block week, something to do every day. It’s been great seeing everyone, as we haven’t seen most since the Muggle and I’s handfasting last October. With some of the stresses that have gone on in the year, being 1000km definitely has its down sides. When all you want is a hug from your Dad, living interstate definitely comes with a cost.
The first two days of being here, I felt wrong. I won’t deny that I don’t like the energies of this town. The land may be beautiful, but I have never connected here. On Xmas Eve we drove to K-Mart via the scenic route, and I could feel my spirit aching to be out of the car, and sitting under one of the many trees on the nature reserve that lines the river. I knew I was needing to sit down, connect and completely ground myself, but with so much to do, for whatever reason I struggled to find the time.
Then in the evening, my feet found the minimal patch of grass in my mothers back yard. I laid down, and felt my body sink. I’m a big girl, and I felt as though I was truly immersed in the soil. I’ve felt better ever since.
Tomorrow morning, our last real day here, I’m finally going to make the journey down the coast. I’m going to my beach, my spot, where I spent so many years performing rites and creating beautiful magick. The last time I was there, I performed such a powerful ritual/spell that I stripped away my connection with the ocean. Completely. I’ve been to the beach twice since then, with my toes in the sand, and both times felt wrong.
The first, the Sirens called to me so strongly I had to fight not to walk into the water and never return. The second, I felt nothing to the point that I returned to the cry and sobbed.
So tomorrow will be interesting. I used to go by a particular name, and was even about to legally change to that name. Last year I left her there, on that beach, to forever stare off into the water. It will definitely be an interesting morning.