This is such a strong dark moon. Since going back on meds, I haven’t felt the dark pull quite like this. The meds balance that out. But let’s just say I’ve been forgetful, so now I’m really feeling it.
I know it’s December, but I feel as though it should be June. The land feels wrong at the moment, as if I am here but I am elsewhere, I am here but I am not. I don’t believe it’s just the cool weather we’ve had the last few days. Even when it was hot last weekend, it felt off. I also made a necklace to go with my new pendant with mookaite beads, and they feel wrong around my neck. Maybe I’m moving on, maybe I’m having a reaction to it’s energy.
I’ve been feeling a definite pull of late – more and more like I should engross myself in British myth and legend, in the culture or the ways things once were. If I had the money, I’d fly over there for a holiday (alone, as my muggle isn’t interested in going.) I think this is Herne’s doing. I’ve been so focused on Australian Druidry, while dedicating myself to a Brit God – it’s like he’s letting me know his side of things. Even finding the two oak trees out the back; I feel as though they are calling to me.
It could all just mean that I need to get back into my OBOD studies. In fact, I think that’s just it. Between seeing Awen in the park the other morning, feeling and being given Awen from Cerridwen, and even feeling her presence, having her songs and stories come up time and time again on my iPod while it’s on shuffle mode. Feeling a connection to the oak for the first time -ever- to the point that I feel like perhaps my tree wasn’t the fig, or the eucalyptus. I’m so confused on that level, I think I might just let it ride itself out.
This could also be an answer to a question I asked Herne – to whether he is the Holly or the Oak King. I always assumed that he would be the Oak King, reigning over the waning half of the year. I’ve never pictured him as the Holly King, reigning over the waxing. To me, his Wild Hunt feels dark and mysterious, like the waning year. So now I’m confused again, is he telling me Mid Winter or Waning?
With the dark moon I release this pent up confusion. I strip myself of it, awaiting the Awen and knowledge to come and to be gained with the waxing moon.