How far do you go in the belief of reincarnation? Do you believe that we remain as humans? Can we become animals, or even trees or strawberries? (If you like Family Guy, you’ll get the strawberry reference!)

Or do you believe, much like my husband, that this is it. We get one shot, and when we’re dead, we’re in the ground. Our soul doesn’t live on, we don’t move on.

Personally, I’ve been fascinated with the idea of reincarnation for as long as I can remember. Growing up Catholic, I never understood the “we all go to Heaven” line that I got fed. Surely there is something else, something to go on with?

I guess my first memory of this came in a dream. At a young age I went to see Great Nan at the cemetery but couldn’t find her (I was eleven, and this was the first visit since her passing). She visited me in a dream (through a Gypsy visit) saying she’s fine, she’s well, and not to worry; that she will be reborn soon, and we will meet again one day.

I’ve learnt of a few of my past lives. I know why I was so hurt (and damaged) when my father left my mother. I understand why I’m terrified of heights, and where my depression began. These have been through two mediums. The first, learning of where my depression came from, was through my first Reiki Master. So a form of hypnosis, I guess. Through kinesiology we found that it was around 3500BC, and I murdered the man who raped and murdered my wife. Leaving my 5 year old son with my brother, I stabbed the bastard. And it felt good. Feeling the soldiers knives pierce into my own back, not so much.

The second, and the most used within my past life discovery, is through guided meditation. Now don’t laugh, but I use a Doreen Virtue CD. As fluffy and new-agey as it can be, and however much I cringe when she brings in Jesus in the introduction, this is a marvelous meditation CD to use when you don’t have anyone to assist.

So this morning with husband at work, I got my question answered. I’ve always felt that I’ve known husband in a past life, and today it was revealed. I’m not going to go into it in detail, but it answers so many lingering questions I’ve found myself asking. Why the need to mother him, why the need to clean up after him and give up trying to get him to do it himself (he’s thirty and still has Only Child Syndrome!), and why I knew he was “the one” the first day I met him.

My visualisation has been lacking due to a decline in meditating for various reasons. But through this CD, the first time I’ve used it in at least six years, it was wonderful. Everything I was feeling, was meant to be felt. I held onto my new honey calcite sphere to assist, placing it on my belly, and went into a wonderful world.

I’ve always had a feeling that my mission in this lifetime was to assist my husband in something personal and not for this blog. It’s that nagging intuition that won’t leave you at peace.

I have many more lessons to learn in this lifetime. I’ve learnt so many already, I’ve been at war with myself and won. And my soul will continue to come back to Earth to learn everything it needs to learn.

For example, one lesson to learn is to never blog while cooking dinner. Pasta sauce is a little burnt, but thankfully it didn’t come through in the taste!