Blessed Yule / Midwinter / Alban Arthan / Solstice!
I mentioned this in a comment reply to yesterday’s post, but watching the sun set tonight on the train, my spirits instantly felt brighter. After being cloaked in darkness and madness for a few days, it’s so wonderful to be my variation of normal again.
Midwinter, death and rebirth, of dormant land and cold nights; I’m feeling all these within myself of late.
I feel that the last few days were my rebirth of sorts. I believe the phrase is Dark Night of the Soul, where you withdrawl into the madness of one’s mind, the numbness and the darkness; and your ego takes control. And then you reach for the light, and are reborn into a new centre of being, centre of thinking, and a feeling of being better connectedness.
Today, I had planned on doing something special. A ritual to celebrate the solstice, candles lit, and reading the story of the Holly and Oak Kings. I read the story, I read that at work (does that count?!) but I had planned on something more. I had planned on rededicating myself to the Path of All Paths, and dedicating myself once again to the Horned God.
I call it the Path of All Paths because I hate titles. I often refer to myself as a modern-day Druid, friends call me a Witch, others say I practice DruidCraft, and those who don’t know better call me a New Age Hippy. I incorporate so much into my path and daily life, I don’t draw from one well. I get too caught up in it all, with the strictness and routine. That’s why I was never a good Catholic, and that’s why I didn’t linger with Wicca for too long!
However, I am exhausted from the Dark Night of the Soul. I am coming down with a cold. Not to mention my fingers are freezing as I type this, and all I want to do is curl up under the doona in bed, and watch some bad 90s drama on DVD.
Then I think, is it completely necessary for ritual tonight? How many others are cloaking up tonight to celebrate? If we had a decent working heater, and cleared space inside, then I might consider it. But the Druid within cringes at the thought of standing behind an altar when there’s perfectly good grass outside to plant between my toes. I was hoping to perhaps go out at lunch time, but my Gods it was freezing! The downside to having a park opposite the construction site I’m on, is every time you go out for lunch wanting to meditate, they start drilling.
Excuses, I know.
So I think that tonight after dinner, I will with drawl into the comfort of my bed. I shall close my eyes, hope that I don’t fall asleep, and play out a beautiful ritual in my meditation world, where it’s warm, and green. I can give honour to the rebirth of the Sun; and watch the Holly and Oak Kings fight for the hand of the Goddess.
If I fall asleep before all this can happen, then that’s ok too. I’ve joined the Sun these last through days in the rebirth process. We died, lived in darkness, and came out brighter and stronger than before. Although I’m getting sick, I feel more connected to my path, and I guess by joining the Sun I have already celebrated this Midwinter.
Brightest Blessings to you all!