In December last year, I finally found full time work. I had left my previous job due to health reasons, Now that the hype of having work has died down, and I am becoming more in tune with my new environment (we moved interstate in October, Victoria to New South Wales), I reached a point where I was willing to leave my new job because something was eating at my conscience.

In need of help, I posted this in a small group I’m in on Facebook:

Question to ponder: as a Pagan,
could you work for a construction company who’s business is to
profit from damaging the earth for “progress” sake? Regardless of the role?

Could you? As Pagans, we honour the Earth. She is our Mother, and we are her Children. We honour her cycles, her changing nature. Some of us talk to trees, see symbols and messages within the leaves, feathers found, and within ancient stone circles.

I work for one of Australia’s leading construction companies. The project I am on involves boring a tunnel beneath Sydney’s CBD so cables can be laid, to enhance our broadband connection.

I’m not a Tunneller, an Engineer, or a Tradie. I am the girl in the office, sitting behind a computer from 7am to 4pm, processing the orders and receipting the invoices, enabling those doing the labour. I may not be drilling the hole into Her, but I’m enabling. I’m not stopping it. I’m involved in a project that is actively destroying our Mother, all for “progress for progress sake”. My Pagan heart sobs, screams, wallows…while my human brain replies, “It pays the bills, and if you left, they’d find someone else who doesn’t care.”

Am I a hypocrite?

My DREAM is to live remotely, on a large acre, reliant on the land, and off the grid. However, my Muggle doesn’t share this dream completely. So while we save to achieve this dream, this pays the bills.

And sadly, it’s the only thing that’s making me sleep at night.