I’ve realised of late that my idea of ritual and honouring Herne has changed and adapted. It used to be a very “me and Him” relationship where, like many Dedicants, time was placed aside each day/week to give honour, to communicate, have a chat, have a drink.
My life now is vastly different to what it was five years ago, one year ago. I don’t set that time aside for specific communication, but I’ve realised more and more that I am embracing Him in my behaviours.
The role of the Hunter in the past with humans, in the animal kingdom, is to provide for the pack to ensure they can sustain their nourishment. With the role of Hunter in relation to Herne, he looked for the path, for the tracks, for the hiding spots to ensure the best game could be obtained. He didn’t waste his kill – he used all parts. He was thrifty, for lack of better words. He took what he needed and no more. He ensured he didn’t cull the population back to extinction.
And that is where I am right now. Without going into too much detail, I have adapted His mentality of being a hunter/provider in almost every sense of the word. It’s not something I noticed immediately, it was more, “this is the only way I feel like I can help in our current situation given all variables.” By holding space, by removing the obstacle of the fear of being unable to sustain ourselves, I am the Hunter so “my pack” can be nourished and focus on what they’re able to do.
This feels cryptic.
My beloved is in medical limbo right now. There are lots of variables and outliers making her day-to-day incredibly difficult, and we’re in that awful waiting period for answers after a multitude of tests have been sent off. She has had to sacrifice a lot of what brings her joy and independence, I am in awe of her strength in getting through each day. Focusing on what I can do to assist and remove some stressors is where I’m falling into Herne’s role of Hunter. Although I am realising that I often have blinders on: I am laser focused on providing what I can so to a degree I’m not allowing myself to feel. I am trying to ensure I follow the tracks and listen to the wind. I am doing what I can to provide for my pack.
I am living up to our namesake.