Ask any Pagan, we’re all pretty tuned in. The majority of us seem to have some sort of ability adapted and formed over time through extensive work in our daily lives, ritual and meditation.
For me, sometimes it’s a bit more than inner knowing. Sometimes it’s a bit more than knowing a friend is pregnant before she tells me, knowing that it’s a girl, or knowing that there’s something wrong.
This is less a Pagan Blog Project post, and more of a “I’m overwhelmed with everything right now and I need to talk it out the main way that I know how” post.
I haven’t had “visions” in a long time. After some weird shit went down, I closed myself off to that. I do, however, have very detailed, graphic and incredibly weird dreams. I don’t know why I need the number for a dentist from a friend, but my subconscious seems to think I need extensive work done.
I’m lucky in that I’m 30 and I have three grandparents still here. When my Pop was passing, he went to see my mother who was living overseas at the time to let her know that he died. Needless to say, she was expecting my phone call.
Saturday night I had a dream of a particular grandparent that is still here. Something was wrong, and in the dream I suddenly appeared to travel 11 hours in an instant, was there by her side giving her the help she needed.
I won’t go into detail about what happened. But while we’ve been focusing on the “oh shit” news of one grandparent, a second “oh shit” followed.
I have two university assignments due this Sunday and the following. I work in accounts and it’s our month end with accruals due on Monday. I am stressed off my nut, and I feel incredibly selfish in trying to work out how I will fly interstate in between everything else going on up here.
I should’ve known something was wrong on Saturday night when I saw her. She was letting me know that something was wrong. It shook me up, and it’s still shaking me up. I am struggling being so far away from everyone right now. I am struggling with not having the strength to even just pick up the phone, because I’m hanging onto the good memories with all the strength I have.
My “visions” and “inner knowing” are always strongest when I am close to someone.
Book of Eucalypt 
Yeah, visions can be overwhelming. I developed a relationship with a spirit I call the Librarian, and although it helps me with my card readings (as long as I don’t ask frivolous questions), I can also contact it directly in my dreams. When I do the card readings, the content is understandable, but when I contact the Librarian directly, it’s an overwhelming, mostly-incomprehensible rush in images and information. I keep telling myself that I need to develop this relationship and connection, but then, every time I do so it gives me a vision that’s totally incomprehensible. *shrug* Visions are a challenging thing to handle.