Around the Cauldron · Pagan Blog Project 2014

I’m the only Pagan in the…err…relationship

I couldn’t very well say, “I’m the only Pagan in the Village” because as I’ve mentioned previously, Sydney has a wonderful Pagan community!


Although I’m probably the only Pagan in my suburb…does that count?

Trends come and go, but one I’ve been noticing on forums and Facebook groups is the, “I want a Pagan boyfriend.”

As someone who has NEVER dated a Pagan, I can tell you that dating a muggle is pretty good, too!

My Muggle knew straight from the get go what I was. We met through online dating, and it was written into my not-original screen name. If you can find a Muggle that’s very accepting (or just doesn’t care as long as it doesn’t involve him, which is what I got) it’s pretty good.

(Please note, this is based on my experience with my muggle!)

No, they won’t go to public events with you. No, they won’t stand outside on a cold night and chant at the moon with you. No, they won’t accept any crystals, smudging, reiki or anything else “new agey” that you could offer to assist their ails.

You won’t have someone to call the quarters or to meditate with. You won’t have someone to appreciate the Pagan world with.

But! They will find something to do while you go to public events. They will leave you be when you’re outside in the freezing cold wearing as many layers as you can to stay warm while you chant at the moon. And they will drag you away from pretty stores because they know that deep down, you don’t need another piece of rose quartz for your altar, or another deck of oracle cards that you probably won’t connect with. Or, they know you’re currently on a budget and we just can’t afford things like that right now.

They will accept that, while they either don’t believe or just don’t care, they’re happy that whatever you believe in makes you happy.

Eventually, you’ll know that while you just need to tell someone about your conversation with a recently departed, they’ve already tuned out and are just nodding to agree with you. That while you sit behind your altar and talk to your family as if you’re on the phone with them, or while you go about your ritual to give honour to your deities, they are content to sit in the lounge doing their own thing.

Sometimes they’ll humour you and go to “new age faire” but please understand that if they look miserable, they probably are, and you might as well find the “muggle friendly” spot and leave them to their own devises while you walk up and down the aisles.

However, sometimes they will surprise you. While looking for prehnite at a local market for my sister’s 30th present (which is today! Happy Birthday gorgeous!) they might ask the vendor if they have a crystal that they know you’ve been looking for. They will definitely ask how the event was that you took yourself to, they will definitely ask if you are warm enough before going outside (and possibly ask why you can’t just do it inside – because it’s not raining yet!)

You can ask them until you’re blue in the face if they will come to an event with you. I’d love for him to come to the upcoming local Beltane event (which I’m totally going to, but have no money to buy my ticket as yet) but I know it’s not his thing. I would love for him to come with me to the next Witches Ball, because I’d love to dress him up as one of the Three Musketeers! But I have a year until that one.

Short of it, your partner doesn’t need to believe in every single thing you do. I love that we love different music, and have different opinions on things. It makes life interesting. And, it allows me the opportunity to shut the door, burn “my smellies” (incense which he can’t tolerate) and do my thing, and have some alone time.

3 thoughts on “I’m the only Pagan in the…err…relationship

  1. My husband practices Slacker Paganism (which I was just writing about when I decided to take a break, then found this) and it’s like being with a Muggle. I wish he was more active, but he leaves all that spiritual, ritualistic stuff up to me. It’s kind of boring at times. I kind of hope that he gets more active when it comes to teaching our kids, because he’s a Heathen and I don’t know a whole about the Norse Pantheon, so, yeah. He’s a Pagan in his own way. He fully supports my decisions, whatever they may be. He doesn’t fully understand the witchcraft elements of my practice, but he’s not a bitch about them either. He’s a Muggle-Born, lol.

  2. My husband is also a “muggle” – about as spiritual as a rock, he says. What he sees are the changes that take effect in my life and the lives of those around me when I decide to sit down and “do something about this s*!” When I offered Reiki after his surgery last year, the response was “You know I don’t think it’ll do anything, but if it will make you feel better go ahead.” (I was feeling miserable about how awful he felt). We then get told he healed quicker faster than any patient his surgeon had ever seen. After that, he was a lot more open about what he really believed I could do – up to and including reaching his brother when crap hit the fan with him.
    Guess my point is… I’m with you. One other point to be made about “muggles”… they are FANTASTIC at keeping you grounded!

  3. I dated a pagan but mostly non pagans and ultimately it’s not all roses either way. Better to have someone that’s compatible and shares life goals and values even if it’s not the same religion. 🙂

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