I disagree with the saying, “you can’t choose your family.” You most certainly can.
In this day and age, families come in all sorts and sizes. If you want to be specific and say parents and children, then you still can.
You can choose to have children, or you can choose not to, or your body can make that decision for you. You can choose to adopt, you can choose to foster, and you can choose to not speak to those of your blood for your own reasons.
You can grow up not knowing your parents – who your mother is if adopted or if they died while you were young; or not knowing your father if he died, if he was never around or was a “sperm donor”. Or if the seed from which you were born was from a literal sperm donor! You can grow up not knowing your grand parents, or your great grandparents.
Of my blood in my life, I’ve known my parents, my brother and sister-in-law. I have known my two gorgeous nieces, my four grandparents, one great-grandmother. Then there’s my eight first-cousins, three third-cousins (let’s just get rid of the ‘third’ – they’re my awesome cousins!) and their respective partners and children.
None of my family live in my state. My mother and the residence of my childhood home is an 11 hour drive away, or 913km/567 miles, and they’re all within an hour/hour and a half drive of her.
I love my family and speak to them all the time on Facebook, and sometimes on the phone.
But they’re not here.
Family isn’t just those by blood. In this sense, I’ve created my own family. Within my home state I have my kin-sister, and her baby girl (my third niecey!) I have my WitchSister who I admire more than words can describe. Two gorgeous women who I would move the mountains themselves to ensure I see when I’m Victoria! And then I have my Sydney Family – my husbands family, our friends and my friends. And within that, my wonderful Pagan Family.
Like a real family we don’t see each other all the time. We’re all busy so we catch up when we can – at a cafe meet or a Full Moon circle; at a workshop, or a gathering. At the pub, a concert or on the once-a-year trip to Victoria. You can meet through work, or university, through friends, online, or that random “you’re wearing a pentagram!” calling card.
These are the people that come into your life for a reason. These are the people that you can celebrate seasonal holidays with, learn from, laugh with.
There is a small handful of people that I think of as my “immediate Pagan family” as I feel incredibly close and connected to them, whether I’ve known them for a years or a few months. This then extends to those I’m so happy to catch up with when we get the chance – people I am so honoured to have met, to have worked with and laughed with, who have made such a positive impact on my life and they may not possibly even realise.
With all the politics that goes on within our Pagan world and communities, at the end of the day does it really matter? It doesn’t matter that our practices differ, our origins are different, or what we call ourselves. Through the course of historical events, regardless to how we got here, the blood in our veins will drop on this land, and it’s the energy of this land that we adore. It’s the energy of the Old Gods that we honour. It’s the energy of the Universe that brings us together. Regardless to what our lineage is, we are Australian Pagans. For the global Pagan community – we dance under the one moon, and soak in the rays of the one sun.
I adore my Pagan family – those I see all the time, and those I only get to see once in a while.
To my Pagan family, my local Pagan community, and the wider Pagan world – thank-you.
And especially to those within the Pagan Blog Project – thank-you from allowing me to learn from you. Thank-you for opening your world into the blogisphere and sharing what you do, how you practice, and what makes your soul sing.
One thought on “Family – the Pagan kind”
I fully agree!
I have moved around a lot in my young life and now it feels like I have left adopted family behind in many different places of the world. Blood-kin are important but so are the people you choose to make family.