Sometimes it feels like you can’t reach out your hand without hitting an empath within the Pagan world. Are we all one, are we all just sensitive, or have we become this way through progress within our own paths? I am somewhat sensitive. I never used to, but I can’t stand crowds anymore. I hate them. I cringe when my husband says “let’s go to Parramatta shopping centre” because the idea of being trapped within five levels (of what I once referred to as “shopping bliss”) now stresses me out. Too much energy, too many prams, too much stress. I’m usually outspoken, but around some people I crawl back into myself, and can find my depression taking over because their energy is so strong. Not the best when this becomes the work situation, but I’m learning how to deal. I remember crying as a child when my best friends parents were going through a divorce, as if me crying would lessen her pain. Maybe if I took it on, she wouldn’t have to. The closer I am to a person, the more in tune I become. If my barriers aren’t strong enough, I feel drained and like I’m drowning. I have a great story for that. I’m scared this particular person I’ll be referring to will read this but six hours of her one day (while my boss looked on laughing) left me wanting to go back to cutting myself. No amount of shielding could’ve prepared myself for that. My husband is a prime example of an empath who isn’t Pagan. He tries not to let it show (because he’s a man who “doesn’t believe in this stuff”) but it can be very interesting being on this side of the fence watching someone change over the course of the day based on the energy around them. This an make us down right annoying. If I’m down, he picks up on me and becomes down, and then in turn I pick up on his energy change and become more down…it’s a vicious cycle. But as empaths, we learn to either shield or put on masks of self confidence and humour to lighten the moods of our surrounds, and to protect us. Taking on the energy of another is draining and exhausting, even when it’s positive energy that’s being shared. It’s been making me quite uncomfortable of late. Being in an awkward situation at work, being in “the deep end without floaties” situation cause am my shields to not work. And then the energy within the office is suffocating. It’s been such a struggle to write this week.