Book of Eucalypt

that I wrote a book?!

In October, I worked with an editor from Crossed Crow Books to polish the finer details of my book. We combed through specific word choices, fixed a frankly embarrassing number of missing commas, and made sure everything felt just right. It was oddly satisfying as I’ve learned there is a vast difference between writing for a science degree (not completed) and writing for non-fiction.

I have also submitted a blog post for the publisher’s website, which I’m really excited to see go live.

Going through the manuscript felt like revisiting an old friend. I’d forgotten half of what I wrote (thanks, AuDHD brain), so rereading my own words was like meeting my past self again. Honestly, I forget most of what I write the moment I hit save. Case in point: the poem I finalised earlier today, Return to the Tide, is already gone from memory.

Lately, I’ve been struggling to find Balance again (yes, Balance with a capital B) especially now that I’m fully estrogen-dominated. Herne’s been giving me grief about it, in that loving but relentless way only he can. He’s thrilled I’m reconnecting with my femininity after my hysterectomy, but he’s also very firm about reminding me that Balance matters.

Now that I can’t rely on “Brian” – the masculine side of me who handles things like mowing the lawn, assembling flat-packs, and avoiding conversation – the process of editing and rereading my own work reminded me how I can reconnect with Herne. It’s helping me rebuild that relationship from a place of new understanding.

(And yes, I realise how much of a Wanker I sound: “I used my own book to help myself.” But look, the AuDHD means I forget things for survival. So if my own words remind me how to reconnect with my god, who better to do it than me?)

Writing (and editing) this book also deepened my understanding of Herne. I recently clicked as to why he loves certain crystals, and why he missed very specific items I used to adorn his altar with – particularly things I hadn’t replaced after we moved out of mould.

I’m also learning how to balance two very distinct energies; Herne’s and Hekate’s. It’s always been “Herne and I,” but now there’s another presence who’s decided to stay who is very direct and firm and specific and I love having that energy around me.

For the book, I also created a series of pen drawings of Herne—specifically in pen so they’d translate cleanly to print. (They’re up as downloadable prints on Etsy if anyone wants to colour them in themselves.)

For Hekate, though, I went full colour. I couldn’t find an image of her online that showed her with dark skin, so I decided to draw her myself.

Now, of course, Herne wants a full-colour portrait too – but not just a colourised version of the ones from the book. He wants something brand new.

The attempts I made over the weekend… let’s just say he came out looking like a zombified Yeshua. So, that little devotional art project continues.

Herne, ever the master of metaphors (which my brain eats up, thanks AuDHD), framed it like this:

“You’re an adult with divorced parents. You spend time with your Mother, and you spend time with your Father. Most of your time is for you. You don’t feel guilty about seeing one more than the other, so don’t feel guilty about spending more time with one of us.”

That landed.

I’m proud of what I’ve learned – about Herne, about devotion, and even about myself – through this editing process. It’s helped me redefine what being a Devotional means and how I want to walk that path moving forward.

And yes, I absolutely use the book to clap back at Herne. When I offer something to Hekate and he asks where his is, I remind him – gently – that he got an entire book devoted to him, which took years to write. Then I promise to split the next treat between them.

Fair’s fair.